Stagers Mind of Calm

The Tuesday Meeting of The Ten Stages discussed Viktor Frankl on the Art of Presence as a Lifeboat in Turbulent Times and What Suffering Teaches Us about the Meaning of Life

Fraser Trevor

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Title: The Tuesday Meeting of The Ten Stages discussed Viktor Frankl on the Art of Presence as a Lifeboat in Turbulent Times and What Suffering Teaches Us about the Meaning of Life
Author: Fraser Trevor
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Tuesdays 10 stage Meeting discussed the work of Viktor Frankl on the Art of Presence as a Lifeboat in Turbulent Times and What Suffering ...

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Tuesdays 10 stage Meeting discussed the work of <a href="https://charterforcompassion.org/attributes-of-compassion/viktor-frankl-on-the-art-of-presence-as-a-lifeboat-in-turbulent-times-and-what-suffering-teaches-us-about-the-meaning-of-life">Viktor Frankl on the Art of Presence as a Lifeboat in Turbulent Times and What Suffering Teaches Us about the Meaning of Life</a>: <br />
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<a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/pengoopmcjnbflcjbmoeodbmoflcgjlk" style="font-size: 13px;">'via Blog this'</a>

The Tuesday Meeting of The Ten Stages discussed Viktor Frankl on the Art of Presence as a Lifeboat in Turbulent Times and What Suffering Teaches Us about the Meaning of Life

Tuesdays 10 stage Meeting discussed the work of Viktor Frankl on the Art of Presence as a Lifeboat in Turbulent Times and What Suffering ...

The shorter your sleep, the shorter your life: the new sleep science | Life and style | The Guardian

Fraser Trevor

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Title: The shorter your sleep, the shorter your life: the new sleep science | Life and style | The Guardian
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

The shorter your sleep, the shorter your life: the new sleep science | Life and style | The Guardian : 'via Blog this' The T...

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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4tkd5qsA_P3B6NVQcSrjYXGgcpcY39wMXmWnPsxxDZufALmsY92MtJua23K2SL5hClcu-Wgx2brXgvQkul4IkL8EAigbIaG_9yWp1E-9ZIkkPSrB4ep90AxfzMzy_9wBHcMwmj53FnF0/s1600/Mindcalm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4tkd5qsA_P3B6NVQcSrjYXGgcpcY39wMXmWnPsxxDZufALmsY92MtJua23K2SL5hClcu-Wgx2brXgvQkul4IkL8EAigbIaG_9yWp1E-9ZIkkPSrB4ep90AxfzMzy_9wBHcMwmj53FnF0/s320/Mindcalm.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<a href="https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2017/sep/24/why-lack-of-sleep-health-worst-enemy-matthew-walker-why-we-sleep">The shorter your sleep, the shorter your life: the new sleep science | Life and style | The Guardian</a>: <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<a href="https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/pengoopmcjnbflcjbmoeodbmoflcgjlk" style="font-size: 13px;">'via Blog this'</a><br />
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The Ten Stages is a studied recovery course. It is a source of reconnection a method of unlearning and a reintroduction to our child within which leads us back to our one true intuitive voice.We start to learn and come out of our protective dysfunctional shell and reclaim our lives. www.thetenstages.com

The shorter your sleep, the shorter your life: the new sleep science | Life and style | The Guardian

The shorter your sleep, the shorter your life: the new sleep science | Life and style | The Guardian : 'via Blog this' The T...

Stagers Mind of Calm is the modern meditation technique that proves the secret to success is ten stage stillness.

Fraser Trevor

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Title: Stagers Mind of Calm is the modern meditation technique that proves the secret to success is ten stage stillness.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Stagers Mind of Calm is the modern meditation technique that proves the secret to success is ten stage stillness. Instead of having to sto...

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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkVQs7ZZhdQE5_rBHDx2DT6kbKFgiWfPgknW6jRVajSnhC5cgr1uj1bbFXpuB2eRzjSqLE_bWDnuviN82LuT4tu_vyWgAdMGFrbudG1Dw1Yr_f88qbmNe8nDxKl0mxZsVwAYtAAfkswWI/s1600/Mindcalm.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="720" data-original-width="1280" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkVQs7ZZhdQE5_rBHDx2DT6kbKFgiWfPgknW6jRVajSnhC5cgr1uj1bbFXpuB2eRzjSqLE_bWDnuviN82LuT4tu_vyWgAdMGFrbudG1Dw1Yr_f88qbmNe8nDxKl0mxZsVwAYtAAfkswWI/s320/Mindcalm.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br /><span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">Stagers Mind of Calm is the modern meditation technique that proves the secret to success is ten stage stillness.<br /><br />Instead of having to stop our thoughts, change our emotions or perfect our life before we can enjoy serenity and recovery. Mind of Calm can help us to access the inner perfect child within of calm, clarity, confidence and contentment - Quickly. While also helping us to perform at our best, sleep better, access our intuition and creativity and connect with others.  <br /><br />Stagers Mind of Calm works by helping us to change our relationship with our perfect child within by being 'consciously aware' during daily life. Different from mindfulness because it is awareness-based instead of mind-based, you can enjoy the big benefits of Stagers Mind of Calm anytime and anywhere. If we want to stop our minds from working overtime, worry less, feel better and get more done with less stress, then Stagers Mind of Calm is the modern-day meditation technique .</span>

Stagers Mind of Calm is the modern meditation technique that proves the secret to success is ten stage stillness.

Stagers Mind of Calm is the modern meditation technique that proves the secret to success is ten stage stillness. Instead of having to sto...

Remind yourself that eating a potato chip with Kindfulness is vitally important.

Fraser Trevor

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Title: Remind yourself that eating a potato chip with Kindfulness is vitally important.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Remind yourself that eating a potato chip with Kindfulness is vitally important.

Remind yourself that eating a potato chip with Kindfulness is vitally important.

Remind yourself that eating a potato chip with Kindfulness is vitally important.

Kindfulness brings in more, that in modern times we're losing that connection with our heart

Fraser Trevor

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Title: Kindfulness brings in more, that in modern times we're losing that connection with our heart
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

What mindfulness has come to be -- which is being aware and accepting -- is about a technique, and it really needs to be something broader...

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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilra15u24JblcQdYhP_gJVGgvEqGjVbPtLmNODQXb4MwBCQq2YYx99-Qfqa-SJLh6-AbZgcvwpC07FOIfsvwxVRHfrwrOb3BNdXR3Kpmrh0i7FpUaM6CqLumYKA3yKE84HKwBbueXF4vY/s1600/10599132_202676280093480_5040020861732124736_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilra15u24JblcQdYhP_gJVGgvEqGjVbPtLmNODQXb4MwBCQq2YYx99-Qfqa-SJLh6-AbZgcvwpC07FOIfsvwxVRHfrwrOb3BNdXR3Kpmrh0i7FpUaM6CqLumYKA3yKE84HKwBbueXF4vY/s320/10599132_202676280093480_5040020861732124736_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">What mindfulness has come to be -- which is being aware and accepting -- is about a technique, and it really needs to be something broader and deeper. Mindfulness really needs to include people's motivations. In short, mindfulness lacks heart, and you could also say it lacks soul because it is lacking a depth. What mindfulness has come to be -- which is being aware and accepting -- is about a technique, and it really needs to be something broader and deeper. Mindfulness really needs to include people's motivations. In short, mindfulness lacks heart, and you could also say it lacks soul because it is lacking a depth. Kindfulness brings in more, that in modern times we're losing that connection with our heart</span>

Kindfulness brings in more, that in modern times we're losing that connection with our heart

What mindfulness has come to be -- which is being aware and accepting -- is about a technique, and it really needs to be something broader...

Our Solution the practice of lovingkindness in everyday life

Fraser Trevor

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Title: Our Solution the practice of lovingkindness in everyday life
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Our Solution the practice of lovingkindness in everyday life We don’t just cultivate ,lovingkindness, in our meditation. It can be cult...

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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">Our Solution the practice of lovingkindness </span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">in everyday life<br /><br />We don’t just cultivate ,lovingkindness, in our meditation. It can be cultivated, and eventually experienced, in every aspect of our lives.<br /><br />We can take lovingkindness practice into our daily lives, and develop it in our interactions with friends, family, and even with strangers. As with anything else, practice helps us to become better at what we do. Of course we’ll make mistakes — we’ll lose our tempers, harbour grudges, have irrational dislikes, fail to be compassionate even when our friends are suffering — but making mistakes is just a part of the process of learning any skill. The important thing is that we try to learn from our experience. But one of the lovely things about developing lovingkindness is that our mess-ups offer us an opportunity to develop greater kindness toward ourselves. We have the opportunity to realise that “to err is human.” We have the opportunity to forgive ourselves.<br /><br />Really what we’re talking about when we’re discussing taking lovingkindness into daily life is practicing ethics. But this isn’t ethics understood in terms of obeying rules, or in terms of escaping punishments and earning rewards (LovingKindness </span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">has its own rewards, but they are simply the natural consequences of our actions, not something handed out by an external judge). What we’re talking about is in developing a quality of awareness that is kindly and compassionate. And this quality of awareness leads to us acting, more and more, in a naturally kind way. It’s said in fact, that someone who is enlightened no longer has to practice ethics. They’re naturally ethical, because acting with meditation and compassion comes naturally when you’re enlightened.<br /><br />Until we’re enlightened we do have to work at being kinder and more compassionate to ourselves and others, but in time we find that it comes naturally, just as with learning any other skill.<br /><br />Cultivating LovingKindness in meditation has an effect on how we behave in our daily lives. Even if we don’t notice that we’re kinder, other people often do. But how we act in our daily lives also affects how easy it is to cultivate lovingkindness in our meditation practice. If you’ve been finding fault with others all day, or have been involved in arguments, when you sit down to meditate you’re going to find that your mind is turbulent and conflicted. The arguments and fault-finding will continue in your mind, even though you’re the only person there.<br /><br />On the other hand if, during the day, you let go of critical thoughts whenever you notice them, try to speak kindly, and try to empathise with others even if you disagree with them, then when you sit in meditation you’re going to find that you feel better about yourself and that it’s easier to connect with a sense of kindness.<br /><br />So the relationship between meditation and daily life is a two-way street. Each has effects on the other. If we are trying to cultivate lovingkindness in meditation but are acting in our daily lives in a way that undermines our kindness, then we’re obviously going to get “stuck” in our development.<br /><br />In fact this might be one of the most common causes of lack of progress in meditation – that we are busy undoing the effects of our meditation while at work or with friends and families. So we need to look at every aspect of our lives and see to what extent it helps or hinders our development of LovingKindness.</span><br />
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Our Solution the practice of lovingkindness in everyday life

Our Solution the practice of lovingkindness in everyday life We don’t just cultivate ,lovingkindness, in our meditation. It can be cult...

We, have been conditioning ourselves

Fraser Trevor

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Title: We, have been conditioning ourselves
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

We, have been conditioning ourselves, or more accurately, allowing ourselves to be conditioned through family, relationships, community,...

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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">We, have been conditioning ourselves, or more accurately, allowing ourselves to be conditioned through family, relationships, community, and religious views for so long that we have lost the use of our individual intuition to manage on our own lives.</span><br />
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<li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://childwithinus.blogspot.com/2015/09/if-our-parents-didnt-love-and.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/363488022_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://childwithinus.blogspot.com/2015/09/if-our-parents-didnt-love-and.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">If our parents didn't love and understand each other</a></li>
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<li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stageforum.blogspot.com/2015/09/how-badly-do-you-want-to-get-into.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/362611992_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stageforum.blogspot.com/2015/09/how-badly-do-you-want-to-get-into.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">"How badly do you want to get into recovery?"</a></li>
<li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stageforum.blogspot.com/2015/09/have-you-ever-had-reality-challenge.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/362611995_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stageforum.blogspot.com/2015/09/have-you-ever-had-reality-challenge.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Have you ever had a "reality challenge" from someone you liked and respected, a lot?</a></li>
<li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://stagescommunity.blogspot.com/2015/09/inner-child-within-dialoguing-is.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/361383851_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://stagescommunity.blogspot.com/2015/09/inner-child-within-dialoguing-is.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">Inner Child Within Dialoguing is a magical intuitive technique, because it is so simple and obvious: ask yourself a question and just listen for the answer!</a></li>
</ul>
</div>

We, have been conditioning ourselves

We, have been conditioning ourselves, or more accurately, allowing ourselves to be conditioned through family, relationships, community,...

Krack our Konditioning

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: Krack our Konditioning
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Think for ourself, trust the process. “Krack our Konditioning.” Let’s kYk it! It’s time for a r-evolution for the body, mind, and spi...

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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9id_uN2ylPqupYqPgHzScxtGLEel-y0wObyMa10Yxg0_BwUolE6eblvOSgT3p5MxHKtQ7MF39YKYc5fchtF7wyxwl2W5rIxb3GLb7Yt8PVuQ4bmP0LUyqcMF7XgcJhm1kKz2915kt7Ek/s1600/DSC_0525.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9id_uN2ylPqupYqPgHzScxtGLEel-y0wObyMa10Yxg0_BwUolE6eblvOSgT3p5MxHKtQ7MF39YKYc5fchtF7wyxwl2W5rIxb3GLb7Yt8PVuQ4bmP0LUyqcMF7XgcJhm1kKz2915kt7Ek/s320/DSC_0525.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br /><br />Think for ourself, trust the process. “Krack our Konditioning.” Let’s kYk it!  It’s time for a r-evolution for the body, mind, and spirit. <br /><br />Join us as we embark on this journey of cracking our social and personal conditioning and finding a way back to our true Selves our child hidden within.</span><br />
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Krack our Konditioning

Think for ourself, trust the process. “Krack our Konditioning.” Let’s kYk it! It’s time for a r-evolution for the body, mind, and spi...

We cannot drop a ball unless we are holding it in our hand.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: We cannot drop a ball unless we are holding it in our hand.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

Recovery is not about renouncing the world. It is not about renouncing anything. It is rather an opening to what is, and a realisation of ...

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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;"><br /><br />Recovery is not about renouncing the world. It is not about renouncing anything. It is rather an opening to what is, and a realisation of the perfection of what is.<br /><br />This is accomplished by realising the nature of illusion as it is generated by the personal self -- me, my desires and my fears. That, combined with a passionate and abiding interest in ultimate truth, are the twin tools for recognising the true nature of reality. However -- and this is a crucial point -- to recognise the illusions of the personal self does not mean that we leap over the personal self, in some mis-guided attempt to bypass it rapidly, to dismiss it as illusion, when in fact we are still in its grips. If we attempt this we will likely fail. Instead, what is required is a full investigation of the personal self, a mature willingness to be responsible for its manifestations, and to take full ownership of it. </span><div>
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<span style="font-family: Courier New, Courier, monospace; font-size: large;">We cannot drop a ball unless we are holding it in our hand. We cannot drop the delusions of the personal self until we have seen and understood the full extent of our identification with it. This requires a profound level of honesty, and a consistent willingness to face within.</span></div>
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<li class="zemanta-article-ul-li-image zemanta-article-ul-li" style="background: none; display: block; float: left; font-size: 11px; list-style: none; margin: 2px 10px 10px 2px; padding: 0; text-align: left; vertical-align: top; width: 84px;"><a href="http://childwithinus.blogspot.com/2015/09/if-our-parents-didnt-love-and.html" style="border-radius: 2px; box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #999; display: block; padding: 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank"><img src="//i.zemanta.com/363488022_80_80.jpg" style="border: 0; display: block; margin: 0; max-width: 100%; padding: 0; width: 80px;" /></a><a href="http://childwithinus.blogspot.com/2015/09/if-our-parents-didnt-love-and.html" style="background-image: none; display: block; height: 83px; line-height: 12pt; overflow: hidden; padding: 5px 2px 0 2px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">If our parents didn't love and understand each other</a></li>
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We cannot drop a ball unless we are holding it in our hand.

Recovery is not about renouncing the world. It is not about renouncing anything. It is rather an opening to what is, and a realisation of ...

The essential difference between animals and humans is the ability to self-reflect.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: The essential difference between animals and humans is the ability to self-reflect.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

The essential difference between animals and humans is the ability to self-reflect. A chimpanzee, our closest genetic relative (around 99...

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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">The essential difference between animals and humans is the ability to self-reflect. A chimpanzee, our closest genetic relative (around 99% similar in DNA), can be taught to do basically everything a human can, though of course at a more generally primitive level. But no chimp can self-reflect, that is, take that mental and spiritual leap of stepping outside of himself and seeing himself from an alternate perspective, or realizing consciously that he is alive, that his heart is beating, that he is walking the planet, that he will die someday, and that the moon is overhead.</span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">A human being is capable of great degrees of self-reflection, but few people achieve much of it, and many of the most intellectually sophisticated achieve little at all. Essentially they live their lives as highly intelligent animals. They work, they solve great intellectual problems, they learn complex skills, they multi-task at profound levels, they have profound memories, they learn numerous languages with radically different syntaxes, they mate in unusual and complex ways – but they often never stop to truly reflect on their existences, much less the utter depths of their existences.</span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">To fully become a full human being – that is, a fully enlightened human being – one has to master the art of self-reflection. This involves resolving one’s deepest traumas, opening the deepest doors to one’s core, and then taking the terrifying and beautiful leap of looking within. The answers to all our species’ problems are there.</span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">The answers to the whole universe are there.</span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;">And there is where it is our responsibility to go.</span></blockquote>
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The essential difference between animals and humans is the ability to self-reflect.

The essential difference between animals and humans is the ability to self-reflect. A chimpanzee, our closest genetic relative (around 99...

At the Ten Stages we recognise that meditation uses words, images, and feelings to evoke a lovingkindness and friendliness toward oneself and others is the healing balm of our practice.

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: At the Ten Stages we recognise that meditation uses words, images, and feelings to evoke a lovingkindness and friendliness toward oneself and others is the healing balm of our practice.
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

At the Ten Stages we recognise that meditation uses words, images, and feelings to evoke a lovingkindness and friendliness toward oneself ...

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<span style="font-family: "courier new" , "courier" , monospace; font-size: large;"><br /><br />At the Ten Stages we recognise that meditation uses words, images, and feelings to evoke a lovingkindness and friendliness toward oneself and others is the healing balm of our practice.<br /><br />With each recitation of the phrases, we are expressing an intention, planting the seeds of loving wishes over and over in our heart.<br /><br />With a loving heart as the background, all that we attempt, all that we encounter will open and flow easily.<br /><br />You can begin the practice of lovingkindness by meditating for fifteen or twenty minutes in a quiet place. Let yourself sit in a comfortable fashion. Let your body rest and be relaxed. Let your heart be soft. Let go of any plans and preoccupations.<br /><br />Begin with yourself. Breathe gently, and recite inwardly the following traditional phrases directed to your own well-being. You begin with yourself because without loving yourself it is almost impossible to love others.<br /><br />May I be filled with lovingkindness.<br /><br />May I be safe from inner and outer dangers.<br /><br />May I be well in body and mind.<br /><br />May I be at ease and happy.<br /><br />As you repeat these phrases, picture yourself as your are now, and hold that image in a heart of lovingkindness. Or perhaps you will find it easier to picture yourself as a young and beloved child. Adjust the words and images in any way you wish. Create the exact phrases that best open your heart of kindness. Repeat these phrases over and over again, letting the feelings permeate your body and mind. Practice this meditation for a number of weeks, until the sense of lovingkindness for yourself grows.<br /><br />Be aware that this meditation may at times feel mechanical or awkward. It can also bring up feelings contrary to lovingkindness, feelings of irritation and anger. If this happens, it is especially important to be patient and kind toward yourself, allowing whatever arises to be received in a spirit of friendliness and kind affection.<br /><br />When you feel you have established some stronger sense of lovingkindness for yourself, you can then expand your meditation to include others. After focusing on yourself for five or ten minutes, choose a benefactor, someone in your life who has loved or truly cared for you. Picture this person and carefully recite the same phrases:<br /><br />May you be filled with lovingkindness.<br /><br />May you be safe from inner and outer dangers.<br /><br />May you be well in body and mind.<br /><br />May you be at ease and happy.<br /><br />Let the image and feelings you have for your benefactor support the meditation. Whether the image or feelings are clear or not does not matter. In meditation they will be subject to change. Simply continue to plant the seeds of loving wishes, repeating the phrases gently no matter what arises.<br /><br />Expressing gratitude to our benefactors is a natural form of love. In fact, some people find lovingkindness for themselves so hard, they begin their practice with a benefactor. This too is fine. The rule in lovingkindness practice is to follow the way that most easily opens your heart.</span><br />
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At the Ten Stages we recognise that meditation uses words, images, and feelings to evoke a lovingkindness and friendliness toward oneself and others is the healing balm of our practice.

At the Ten Stages we recognise that meditation uses words, images, and feelings to evoke a lovingkindness and friendliness toward oneself ...

When all the shame and blame have passed. As we retrace our child withins history, we inevitably reach an ancestral place

Fraser Trevor

Link Author

Title: When all the shame and blame have passed. As we retrace our child withins history, we inevitably reach an ancestral place
Author: Fraser Trevor
Rating 5 of 5 Des:

When all the shame and blame have passed. As we retrace our child withins history, we inevitably reach an ancestral place of connection. T...

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<span style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: lato, sans-serif; font-size: medium; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: 'courier new', courier, monospace; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">When all the shame and blame have passed. As we retrace our child withins history, we inevitably reach an ancestral place of connection. That of the Child Withins connection to the ancestral genetic chain....Ghosts, so claim the distinguished Hungarian psychoanalysts Nicolas Abraham and Mária Török, are psychological unfinished business. Whereas for Freud it is individual repressed traumas that return to haunt us, for Abraham and Török, repressed traumas can be transmitted down the generations. And this repression often comes in the form of family secrets.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />"What haunts are not the dead, but the gaps left within us by the secrets of others," they wrote. Ghosts, like dreams, constitute a return of the repressed children hidden within. They are traumas that have not received a proper burial. Too painful to mourn, they are avoided and passed down the family tree. And the point about ghosts is that they have a way of coming back to haunt you when you least expect them. Assimilation only ever runs so deep.</span></span><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: lato, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 27.2px;" /><span style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'courier new', courier, monospace; font-size: medium; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />One of the threads that runs through so many of our child withins lives is shame. Not for what we had done, but for what our parents, grandparents, and other ancestors had done. It is as though what our forebears did had somehow become our story, and we feel implicated—as we though they had done it, or inherited it, or would pass it on.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />Another theme is lack of maternal love: mothers who were unwilling or unable to provide physical and emotional security, affection, solace, and caring because of their own limitations, blind spots, mental illness, or emotional genealogy. In some cases, the cruel hand of fate removed a mother through death.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />A third thread is absence: adults who were physically there, but emotionally remote or not present. Or who sent their children away to orphanages, boarding school, foster families, or to live with other family members.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />There are shared stories of violence, emotional and physical trauma, drug or alcohol abuse, lying, secrets, scathing words, denial.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" />The goal is not to dwell on problems, but to look at what each of us has inherited emotionally, and how we can transform that inheritance, release it, or release our fear of it in order to live fuller, more satisfying lives. We had to separate our own child withins story from the story of those who came before us. Their mistakes were not ours. We had to swing open the closet door and look fearlessly at the skeletons that were rattling around in there. And then we had to close the door. There was forgiveness, self-forgiveness, commitment to make better, freer choices for our unique child within finally shedding our ancestral bonds.</span><br style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: lato, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 27.2px;" /><span style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'courier new', courier, monospace; font-size: medium; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;" /></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: lato, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 27.2px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #333333; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: medium; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Our behaviour patterns can actually pass down in our genes. As our lives progress, something turns those genes on….and,  something can turn them off.The Ten Stage course of recovery assimilates that change process.</span><br />
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When all the shame and blame have passed. As we retrace our child withins history, we inevitably reach an ancestral place

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